Mastering Clarity: 4 Guidelines For Conflict-Free And High-Impact Communication

"Don't come to me with a problem. I'm only interested in solutions!"

Have you ever received a mixed message like this? How did it make you feel?

Confused. Frustrated. Angry.

If you felt any of those, you'd be fully justified.

“Mixed messages can cause conflict, confusion and worse. Mostly, they make clarity impossible. Without clarity, nothing works.”

If you want to lead change, inspire others to action and avoid conflict in your team, your communication has to be CRYSTAL CLEAR - especially when virtual!.

Inspired by the writings of my wise Gestalt teacher Paul Barber, here are 4 simple guidelines to make your communication high impact and conflict free:

1. Clarify your intention - be clear if you are supporting, challenging or seeking clarification.

2. Make direct statements - be specific; simplify statements, don't elaborate.

3. Ask 'how' rather than 'why' - ask others to share their observations rather than explain their reasons.

4. Engage in dialogue - speak directly to others (avoid speeches, monologues, etc.).

These 4 simple guidelines will improve your communication but also your relationships.

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Clarify Intention, Avoid Conflict

By clarifying your intention, your communication will leave no room for misinterpretation. Nor conflict.

“BUT, if you want to be clear to others, you have to be clear with yourself first. After all, if it's not clear to you how can it be clear to someone else?”

If not always sure of your intention, these 3 simple questions will help you clarify it:

1. Am I lecturing about "what ought to be" rather than dealing with what is right now?

2. Am I pretending that I'm looking for information when I really want to make a statement?

3. Am I broadcasting into the air rather than speaking directly with people?

Thanks for the inspiration, Paul!

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Clarify Expectations, Improve Relationships

Are unnecessary misunderstandings a constant reality of your teamwork?

Whether you want to improve collaboration with one or multiple work relationships, the most important and most effective thing you can do with that person/s is to exchange this simple question and clear request:

• Question: What do you need and expect from me?

• Request: This is what I need and expect from you:

What makes this exchange of expectations so important?

It cuts to the essential. It leaves no room for blame or finger-pointing. No room for misunderstanding or resulting conflict.

By executing this 2-step expectations exchange, you promote 3 MUST-HAVE characteristics for effective team communication: DIRECT. CLEAR. OPEN.

Embed these 3 characteristics into your communication style for improved collaboration and relationships.

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Foster Conflict-Free & High-Impact Communication

Of course you can't control how the people around you communicate. Hidden agendas are a part of every team and organization, unfortunately.

However, by modelling this communication style with your collaborators, you can inspire them to do the same.

By applying a few of these clarifying tips and questions, you can stop conflict before it begins.

Furthermore, the impact of your communications will skyrocket with a direct, clear and open communication style.

Thanks for reading,

Tim

P.S. If you’d like to make your communications high-impact and conflict free, let’s talk: